the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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