Dual....:-)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
