Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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