his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
