apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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