my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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