Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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