hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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