I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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