I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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