I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
