He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize