FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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