And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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