The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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