I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
