you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
