i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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