I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
