You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
