ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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