my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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