the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he fucked my hip out of place.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
