Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
