Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize