Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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