I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
