Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
