it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
