you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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