Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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