I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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