They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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