I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
