Do you still have your period?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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