Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
