Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
