True but thats because hes a fetus.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
