Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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