I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Only a mothe r could love this liver
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
