dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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