too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
