We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Randomize
