So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
