who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
