what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
