im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
