Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
