The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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