sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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