Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
