I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize