it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
