Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
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Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
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Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize