well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
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I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
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I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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