the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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