3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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