I want to have your abortion
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
